peace of mind

is this homesick?

but i couldn't believe that I actually used to live there. I just kept walking around in circles thinking HOLY F%CK!!! The people are so plastic. Not even their hair moves. The worst part are the ones that live and act like they don't even live there. I loathe there; but I loathe here(?). I walk around foreign
not knowing where
to go, where I've
been
The city laid out before me
huge and living and loud
and strange and fake and foolish
and wanting to be away; but
longing to be here
where there is home
but not really
but neither is 101 Greenacre Lane in rural NW georgia
where the heart was
5 years ago my heart left
It is coming back gradually, but in
pieces, scattered
in Philly and in C'ville and
everywhere else

And you told me that intellectual stimulation could not be sensual; but by definition only; make me sound un-learned and so what? Who have I to impress? What have I to prove?

I've got to get out of here, or stay here, but first and foremost, figure that out.

I pray for the people in NewOrleans. I hope there are no people in New Orleans. They'll have nothing to go home to but water. God be with them.

but it isn't for 4 more months!?!

B is buying me an amazing birthday present. I've had the itch for a while, and today we finally went for a consultation. We showed the artist what we wanted to incorporate and we have an appointment on October 13 to see what the final product will look like. Then, on Nov 5, I will have my first session, and 3 weeks after that, my tattoo will be finished, and I will have one of the most impressive birthday presents ever. I found a really cool Celtic tree and sun with some knot work that is all gonna be worked in together to make a gorgeous tatt on my back. I've been saving my back for something good and big and impressive, and this is gonna be all of the three. The girl that worked there was kind of a bitch, but once Billy got over that, we got really excited. I can't wait to see what the artist comes up with!

The other new thing in our life right now is HOUSE BUYING. We got approved for a mortgage and now we just have to find a house - and a down payment - so the broker told us, "if ya find something you like, make an offer..." Those are scary words. I mean, I really want a house, but it's a huge undertaking, and I want to make sure that we get what we want. It would really suck to buy a house, and then see something else that we like better. Real estate is just stupid right now....

Anyway, i'll post pics of houses and my tatt eventually. YAY!