the things I never got over
like that time you just
kissed me
out of no where
in the rain when I thought that we'd never speak again
over something stupid
you didn't hate me forever
though years passed without a word
so I moved on?
And when you knew you moved back
like that time you just
sang the words
you knew
it was your part
to sing?
or to make me want you
all over again

closure is beautiful
how would I know

i guess i’m still mad.
they say it’s one of the phases
but I just can’t bring myself to
miss you
enough to actually believe that you’re
gone.
that i will never see you again
that i will never try to pry open your closed fist
to no avail

no avail or unavailable to me
as I try to live with you
gone.
to get over it would be a cruel joke
to remember life with you is
only sickness
sickness I know I’m destined for
and kick myself in the ass
time and again

and again I rationalize
life and living and stressed out
worry freak as I stay
alone without you as close as
a phonecall
gone.
like those cedar trees you had to
cut them down
because of the storm

the storm of life continues as
I try to make calm the situation of her
trying to live again
realizing that you are
gone.
she sleeps alone on your side
of the bed that was long
enough and wide as
my daughter’s smile

The smile that will never know what is
gone.
that will know a picture only....
and stories
and sayings
and wantings
to be with who she never knew
and her sister can’t remember
only the ducks

the ducks in the pond with the
fountain where he took you
that time to feed the ducks
do you remember the bread crumbs
and the huge fish that ate the
doughballs he fished with
and they took that picture
ended up in the paper
next to the NO FISHING sign that is now

gone.