Friday: Me and the drink....

Wow…what a weekend.

I have a taste for good Irish whisky. I used to drink Scotch; and while I still enjoy a good single malt, I can pace myself.

I love Irish whisky.

Sometimes there are people that you just click with. I like to think that they are in the same soul group.

Last Friday was Raul’s last day in our office. He is going to be a warrant investigator. He and I pretty much hit it off from the start. He kind of reminds me of one of my good friends from back home. He’s Italian, and from South Philly. He is older than I am, but not by much. He is a very unique person, and we relate very well. His is in that soul group of mine that I consider to be very small. We have a very close relationship. It’s not romantic or anything, but we have a great time together. On Friday, we had so much fun.

We started at lunch. My friend Laura and I got him a few small gifts, most of which were meant to be gags, but just the same, they were gifts. Let me just first of all say that my friend Laura is absolutely gorgeous. She is tall and thin and beautiful and sweet and physically flawless, with a wonderful personality. Ralph has wanted her for a long time…and he’s not the only one. Anyway, she managed to get our lunch tab taken care of by the owner of the bar where we had been, and needless to say, Ralph and I were unable to leave when everybody else did. He and I hung out until we felt that we could walk, and then went back to work, where I poured my heart out to my judge’s personal. I think he was a bad influence.

After work, I met Raul at his favorite bar, Fergie’s. I have been there a few times with him. A couple of our other co-workers were there. That’s where the whisky came in. It went down way to easily. It was way too good. I had such a wonderful night. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time.

Thanks, Mo and Ralph…..

my Buddy

Today I lost a good friend. I miss him.

He was a great man. He had the best stories ever. I will really miss him.

One of the last times I saw him was at the 50th birthday party for a friend that we work with. It was a great time. I hung out with him most of the night. How could we know that he would be dead in less than a month. We had a wonderful time together that night. He was a gentle man with a pure heart.....

did I mention his stories???? Non of them are quite appropriate to type...in fact, I was the only girl to hear most of them...but they were absolutely great.

We had our own wave.

He would always tell Georgia hello when he was driving through on his way to Florida. Now, i'll have to tell Florida hello for him.

Rest in Peace, Buddy. Go fishin.

i'll miss you.

A moment.....

I dated a guy years ago. We were pretty serious, I thought. We were never in the same place. Something that he said struck me today, almost out of nowhere, but not completely unfounded. He knew that I had grown up in church, and had since completely stopped going for whatever reason. He was never really into church at all. One day, out of the blue, he tells me that I should go to church. It wasn't in a "you need Jesus" kind of way. It was more like "you might function better if you had something more to be involved with, i.e. church..."

After my father died, I went to a social event with the church that my mother had been a part of for years. It was not the church that I grew up in. It was very small, and it seemed that everyone was either blood related, or had married into each other's families....so typical country southern baptist church. I surprised myself at how much fun I had, so I started going semi-regularly. Sometimes I got something out if it, sometimes I didn't...but I enjoyed it. It was some structure in my live that I had been missing. Maybe that's what he meant...maybe it was the structure.

When I moved up here, I went to several different churches. I didn't like to go without my husband. He told me that if I would *please* go to a Catholic church, that he would go....this after actually going with me to the Calvary Chapel...which he so lovingly refers to as a cult. I decided to give the ole Catholic church a try. Ana would be going to school there anyway - since the public schools are shit - so I started going, and I actually found all the ritual stuff to be cool. Baptists are minimalists when it comes to the actual worship service. The churches are not particularly fancy, and there isn't a lot of ritual involved. To me, the ritual seemed humbling. At any rate, to make a long story shorter (kinda), I went through the RCIA classes, was amazed at how liberal and free thinking and accepting this church was, and decided to convert. I joined the choir and everything.
I think it's the singing again on a regular basis...Especially when the director handed me a song tonight and asked if I could "take a look at the verses..." It's a beautiful song by David Haas called "Do Not Let Your Hearts Be Troubled." It's not very difficult. It's very simple and beautiful.

It makes me smile.

A lot of ridiculousness......

It’s ridiculous that I work my ass off at a job that I
don’t hate, but get paid NOTHING for. It’s ridiculous
how I am treated like a child there. It’s ridiculous
that the interpreter in my court room right now barely
speaks Spanish. It’s ridiculous that this Assistant
District Attorney has a job. It’s ridiculous that it
is almost 2pm, and I’ve had no hint of a lunch break.
It’s ridiculous that I read blogs of my ex-boyfriend’s
girlfriend(s). It’s ridiculous that she seems so
contented with him. It’s ridiculous that knows
exactly what to do to make girls fall for him. It’s
ridiculous that we have 2 incomes in our house, and no
money. It’s ridiculous that my husband has a college
degree, and that I have some college education, and we
still are broke. It’s ridiculous that we live in a 2
bedroom apt with 2 kids, a dog and a hamster, and of
late, a mouse. It’s ridiculous that my house stays
such a f*cking mess. It’s ridiculous that all the
people in the room where I am are talking at once.
It’s ridiculous that I haven’t found another job yet.
It’s ridiculous that I can’t get a good gig at a
decent bar here. It’s ridiculous that my sister is
dating a complete loser. It’s ridiculous that I don’t
update this blog more often. It’s ridiculous that my
friend in Atlanta can receive emails from me, but
cannot send any to me. It’s ridiculous that I go down
to Georgia about twice a year. It’s ridiculous that
there are people that I haven’t seen since my wedding
that I consider to be some of my “best” friends. It’s
ridiculous that I haven’t smacked this ADA in the head
yet. It’s ridiculous how cold it is in this room.
It’s ridiculous that we have such a whack job for a
president in this country. It’s ridiculous that this
interpreter begins every sentence with the word
“entonces.” It’s ridiculous that my Spanish is better
than his. It’s ridiculous that I am actually sitting
here, typing this out, with all this going on and I’m
hungry and cold.

NICE!!!!!

Your Daddy Is Pedro Martinez

What You Call Him: Daddy Dearest Why You Love Him: He's your sugar daddy

Who's Your Daddy?

go figure.....who'd've thunk it?

You are a Social Liberal (75% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (50% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

after all....sell out???

yanno the kid in the middle? Well, Who did you think he was?!?

OH MY GOODNESS!! is all I have to say about the John Mayer Trio...John's newest incantation of musicians. I used to ogle at this man years ago at Eddie's Attic and Smith's Old Bar, and even talked to him a few times. He used to wear this great rainbow striped sweater that he looked absolutely amazing in...but that was before the fame..the name in lights...crazy weight loss...strange versions of songs I used to love.... There was this one night that I went to see him at Eddie's, and he was on fire. At one point, he got the electric guitar, and just started going off! He walked over and sat down at a table with the guitar, and just played the $hit out of it!! As a musician myself, I really truly noticed, appreciated, and was amazed at the talent of this guy. I even emailed him and offered to sing back up if he ever needed it. He emailed me back, saying he'd let me know....

Next thing I know I'm living in Philly, and I'm hearing his song on aisle 7 in my neighborhood supermarket. He has really made it....if making it is selling out...

So he made his money, had some great hits, lost some weight, but stayed pretty hot, played some great shows to a bunch of screaming young girls...but never really got to show off his guitar skills on any albums. I haven't been impressed by his studio albums thus far. I've bragged to my friends about how great he *really* is... Then I see something that says "John Mayer Trio" and I wonder if it's the same guy....so I stumble over to www.johnmayer.com and I hear this AMAZING guitar riff with drums coming in, and an all out JAM!! I was completely FLOORED!!!!

He made his money...and used it to go back to what he really wanted to do to start with. Props to John Mayer. I've got my itunes downloaded (the only place you can get these new tunes) and it's cranking over and over again. This dude has talent. I've seen it. Now I'm glad that he's put it in an album.

I wonder if I could get a main stream hit out of any of my tunes....i'll have to post an mp3 on here and get opinions from you guys. What do ya think?

Current Events

SO for those of you that read me regularly...all 3 of you...you know that I usually am not into posting about current events, news, politics, and the like. It is mostly because I am married to a government teacher, who is also a wannabe politician, and a news ADDICT!! He always watches CNN, which I don't mind, but the last week has been NOTHING but Katrina coverage!! I am not saying that they don't need coverage. I will agree that this is the worst natural disater in our country in my lifetime, and I am absolutely embarrassed at the incompetency of our Federal government. It's just plain sad and ridiculous. The search and rescue effort has not even gone close to Chalmette, where my brother used to live. His wife is in Bilouxi. Her company travels to different places after disasters and helps in clean up. She spent a lot of time in Florida last year, and will be in Mississippi and Louisiana for a while now. She said that to see it first hand is just incredible. There are so many people stranded...so many people without a home...and I am just soo thankful that they don't live there anymore. We are still trying to get in touch with people we know down there, as so many people are. For anyone reading this...no one is being let in or out of St Bernard's Parish. The place has been declared a complete loss. I can't stand to think about it.

And all I want is for my husband to change the damn channel.

peace of mind

is this homesick?

but i couldn't believe that I actually used to live there. I just kept walking around in circles thinking HOLY F%CK!!! The people are so plastic. Not even their hair moves. The worst part are the ones that live and act like they don't even live there. I loathe there; but I loathe here(?). I walk around foreign
not knowing where
to go, where I've
been
The city laid out before me
huge and living and loud
and strange and fake and foolish
and wanting to be away; but
longing to be here
where there is home
but not really
but neither is 101 Greenacre Lane in rural NW georgia
where the heart was
5 years ago my heart left
It is coming back gradually, but in
pieces, scattered
in Philly and in C'ville and
everywhere else

And you told me that intellectual stimulation could not be sensual; but by definition only; make me sound un-learned and so what? Who have I to impress? What have I to prove?

I've got to get out of here, or stay here, but first and foremost, figure that out.

I pray for the people in NewOrleans. I hope there are no people in New Orleans. They'll have nothing to go home to but water. God be with them.

but it isn't for 4 more months!?!

B is buying me an amazing birthday present. I've had the itch for a while, and today we finally went for a consultation. We showed the artist what we wanted to incorporate and we have an appointment on October 13 to see what the final product will look like. Then, on Nov 5, I will have my first session, and 3 weeks after that, my tattoo will be finished, and I will have one of the most impressive birthday presents ever. I found a really cool Celtic tree and sun with some knot work that is all gonna be worked in together to make a gorgeous tatt on my back. I've been saving my back for something good and big and impressive, and this is gonna be all of the three. The girl that worked there was kind of a bitch, but once Billy got over that, we got really excited. I can't wait to see what the artist comes up with!

The other new thing in our life right now is HOUSE BUYING. We got approved for a mortgage and now we just have to find a house - and a down payment - so the broker told us, "if ya find something you like, make an offer..." Those are scary words. I mean, I really want a house, but it's a huge undertaking, and I want to make sure that we get what we want. It would really suck to buy a house, and then see something else that we like better. Real estate is just stupid right now....

Anyway, i'll post pics of houses and my tatt eventually. YAY!

a clarification.....

i think i was misunderstood with the kinky thing. It wasn't kinky in MY definition....more just weird. One of us actually sharing that we did it is part of the fantasy for him...i'm just not sure how it looks on the outside. We are totally into doing our own thing and not sharing most things, but this was just different.

This comes as a reply to a friend's blog who told me that I was f-ing it up(?) It's not seedy, nor is it gross to share what we did. It's not like he touched me here, or I licked him there. It was the roles that were played, who played them, and how. It was very interesting, and I felt that sharing these things in cyberspace could give other players validation in things that they do. Some people like to be adventurous. Some people like to be gross. Whether or not my man or woman and I are into any perversions or strange sexual escapades is completely between us. This falls under a whole new realm of weirdness.

this friend is the only one who reads this anyway.....


Pity how voice inflection and facial expression simply can not be expressed in typing.

you did WHAT?!?

YAY! We finally got over our tiff, and have come to some agreements. All-in-all, things are gonna be fine. Things are wonderful, and we got FREE tickets to the Allman Brothers show tonight, so I am TOTALLY stoked.

um....so....we just did something totally kinky and weird, and we're sure that no one else does it, and it was fun and funny and exciting and freaky....

and no, I'm not telling what it was

no, not even you....OR you!

Unless you can tell me something you've done that's funnier or weirder. First. And I'm the judge. If yours isn't f-ed up enough, then I don't have to tell you.....

know-it-all

So i've learned now the hard way that it's perfectly okay to keep some things a secret. Even when you love someone, and feel you know them inside out, you are going to have secrets from each other, and that's okay. People have secrets for a lot of different reasons. The other night, I got nosy...then I decided to get funny...and ended up being all girly and "we should know everything about each other..." and then I learned NO, we don't have to know EVERYTHING. There are things that I found out that I would have been fine never knowing. I'm fine knowing them, but it hurt the person who told me, and no I feel worse than I did when I didn't know anything. I admitted things I never wanted to admit, and probably shouldn't have. My feelings never changed. My love didn't change....if it did, it's stronger....Nobody got angry. Both of us got upset and felt badly and cried. I feel insecure. Both of us know that we can get through this, but it's gonna take a little while. Both of us are trying to wish the conversation completely away..but now it's out there, and it is marred by things that we will never forget. Hopefully it will fade with time, and I'll have learned to keep my damn mouth shut.

what a girl wants

And she's already in the fridge; With the apron on. She paraded around that house as if she owned the place, opening and closing doors, and getting her fingers smushed in the cabinets. It was priceless. She had a great time with her "nana and cogin." Do I actually miss that place? I don't think I'm willing to admit it just yet. This last visit was so weird. Just weird. After being outside the bubble....especailly one so thick and drastically different than what has become my *new* norm....it's just weird.....

got my fix...

Just before July fourth my father's sister passed away after a substantially long illness. I used this as an excuse to go to the bass-ackwards south. It was a nice visit....kind of surreal.

My flight was delayed and delayed and delayed again, which was no big deal, but actually worked to my advantage because the baby slept the entire trip(only she and I went). My plane ride began with a particularly odd encounter with the guy sitting next to me. The plane smelled so badly! The captain came over and was talking with a few of us, and told us that the stench was due to live crab that was in with the cargo earlier that day. It seems the container had been leaking. It was such an atrocious smell! So the guy next to me had already been joking around with me about the smell, and then about how cute the baby was, and how well behaved - she was asleep....what could she have done... - anyway, the plane finally began to taxi towards the runway, and they dim the lights "for our comfort" and the man takes it upon himself to grab my thigh and pat it and rub it a minute, and then kind of leaves his hand there for just a moment. I didn't say anything - I think it was shock....but then he finally moved his hand and didn't do it again...and then when we got to Atlanta, asked me if I had a place to stay there, and I assured him that I certainly did!!

I mean, I KNOW i'm fine, but damn......teeheeheheh

Over the river and through the woods.....

Let's do the Timewarp again....

SO....

I did really well this week at watching what I was eating and walking at night. I was very proud of myself, and today, i barely ate a thing....so I was kinda lightheaded when I got home. I hadn't had anything to eat all day except for a spring mix salad with some tofu....

so that pizza dinner is okay, right? and what about the party cake ice cream that I'll try to justify later tonight???

Hello stomach....i am diet, your worst nightmare.

i think last night.......

I had the perfect melody and some great lyrics all the way to work this morning. I sang it over and over again so that I wouldn’t forget it. I walked into work, wrote the lyrics down…

And completely forgot the melody.

Dammit.

And Lance was a no show.....

We went to the USPRO Cycling championships today. It was a lot of fun. Our friend has a house right along a strech of the race called "the Wall..." It's a hill in a neighborhood called Manayunk that is very steep and gradual. I could barely walk it with my out of shape self, so I'm sure the cyclists were having loads of fun trying to bike up it! The course is 10 laps and 156 miles. Everytime they came around, we ran outside to cheer, and then back inside to the cool air conditioning!! I am a little sunburnt, but we had a wonderful time.

I'm going vegan i think. I got some health test results back, and while they are not incredibly horrid, neither are they incredibly wonderful. I am a sloppy vegitarian, and I really eat like I'm stupid, so I'm gonna stop that and get myself in gear. I have to get myself back in shape, and be on the road to living my life like I want to again....which after today may also put me looking at houses in Manayunk...!!!

Spring Cleaning....

Okay, so Spring is almost over, and I am finally cleaning out everything. I am packing away baby clothes, in case I have another, and packing away the elder's nicer things for the younger to eventually wear. I came across some old pictures, which was nice because I found some frames as well. I got new shelves at IKEA and I am putting pictures on them, and now I have pictures of more than just my family.

I found an incredibly gorgeous picture of J, and a picture of L from highschool. They are both 5x7, and I incidentally found a double 5x7 frame....so now 2 of my closest friends are next to each other for me to see and blow kisses at every day. yay. I miss you guys, and love you dearly.

Reading Rudolf Steiner. L, you should check this dude out. Austrian philosopher. Good stuff...

Waffle House

i wish people would come and visit me, because I can't afford to go home. I miss everyone and everything and it makes me so sad. I don't want to be so unhappy. I'm really not terribly unhappy...i just want to go home.....and I don't know where that is. I want everything back. I want my life at 19 to start there over again. I want to sing. I want to play. I want to be happy. I want to be free. Someone please come and visit me and cheer me up and bring me some hashbrowns, scattered, smothered and covered......